Is he worth it.. or should we run for the hills? I really enjoyed writing about this topic because not only is it my opinion, but also a collective view from all my friends and family about good qualities a guy should have.
Reading this, I hope you don’t feel as if you need to carry around a checklist on every date you’re about to go on. Its more of a guideline for potential candidates you may feel the most connected too. Since the divorce rate has gone up to 50%, I think we should all be cautious to who we devote our time to. They got to be worth it! Do they have to be perfect? HECK NO! No one is perfect… but it is important to see compatibility similarities and character traits before you realize 5 years later that you are total opposites. If you guys are interested in a blog post about what to look for in a girl… I’d be more than happy to explore that. So, let me know!
Let’s first start with the question…..
Are they ambitious?
- Ambition is the number one trait to look for in a guy! When someone is ambitious, it means they constantly seek to make themselves better. They have an objective and they drive themselves to achieve it. Someone with that characteristic is dependable and a good role model to their surrounding environment.
- Do not date someone who is complacent with their lives and don’t dream of a better life for them or you. Also, do not confuse ambition with false promises. Just because they may say that they want to do all these things like, “Get a new job with a bigger salary” or “work out to obtain a healthier lifestyle”… if there is no action behind these statements then they are not ambitious. Rather, they are lazy and unmotivated. Men who are not ambitious should be seen as a red flag to any women/ man because it is a prelude to how a life together will be.
Are they family oriented?
- We all have a crazy, loud, obnoxious family that most of the time we can’t stand (and would like to duct tape and tie up sometimes). However, family is there forever and you still love them regardless. What is important to look for in a guy is if they will love your family as much as you do. We have all heard the saying “when you date someone you are also dating their entire family”… and this is SO true. Family dinners, family vacations, family outings–it is family that becomes a big part of your daily life. The guy you are with needs to understand this.
- In addition to understanding how important family time is, they should also be family oriented because they want to be and not because they have to be. You know those times when your 86 year old grandma is ranting over and over again about her experience during World War II (please not another story about the war) or completely goes on a random tangent… you want a guy who thinks that’s cute and engages her rather than sighs every time you mention a trip to grandma’s house is coming up.
How do they handle hard times?
- How a guy handles a difficult situation is a huge indicator for how they will handle life in the future when times get tough. Life is an obstacle course with lots of various hurdles. It is not all fun and games. However, one should deal with these hard times by facing it head on with maturity and lots of communication. If a guy tends to shut you out and just wants his space when he’s upset or decides that drinking and avoiding is the best way to handle a difficult situation– then this guy is immature and not a good match. They have some more growing up to do and need a reevaluation of themselves before they can ever fully be in a relationship.
- These actions show that they do not see the relationship as a team or support system but rather you are someone that they can use as an emotional punching bag. It’s not worth it for you to be with someone who isn’t ready to deal with life’s hardships in a mature and rational manner.
Can they make you laugh?
- Now ladies, I don’t mean just a quick little chuckle. I am talking about the kind of laugh that you secretly try to hide because you know if they heard your real laugh they would think that they had just heard a squealing pig… or in my case a squawking bird. It’s the kind of laugh that is uncontrollable, natural, and only shown to a few special people.
- Now, does every guy need to be a professional comedian or have prepared jokes hidden in his pocket? No! Of course not! BUT they should just be a naturally silly guy that loves making their girl laugh. The best memories are the ones where you both act like kids together and have continuous laughter. For example, dancing together stupidly in the kitchen while making dinner, impersonating each other, or even slapping your boyfriends butt in Target and seeing his reaction (highly suggest). You don’t want someone with no sense of humor and can’t just relax and be silly! Life would be boring and who wants a life like that!?
Do they do the little things?
- This does not mean that have to open your car door every time you go out, that they pay for every meal, or have flowers waiting for you every time you go on a date (but, that’s not a bad idea lol). When I say the little things, I mean literally just that. Do they do little things just to make you happy? Things that don’t cost much or take that much effort, however it is just enough to show that they care or do it just to make you smile. It can be as easy as picking up your favorite drink at Starbucks without asking you, surprising you by coming over unexpectedly because they knew you had a bad day, planning an impromptu day for the two of you, or even dropping a drink or snack off at your work (because what girl doesn’t love to be fed). A guy who goes out of their way to do these things JUST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, is a winner in my book and should be in yours too. It not only means that they care about you, but it also means that they are a selfless person which is an amazing attribute to have in a potential husband. Just like how girls cherish their boyfriends, we hope to be treated the same way.
How do they look at you?
- The way a guy looks at you is an important indicator to how they feel about you. Usually guys try to hold a masculine exterior and try to refrain from showing emotion. If they have a soft expression when they are with you and look at you with puppy eyes… you definitely mean a whole lot to them. I once had a boyfriend that would sometimes watch me as I slept. Grantedm he said it was mostly because it was a time I was finally quiet and peaceful looking (lol), but none the less I knew that he looked at me like that because I was his world. If you are dating a guy who looks at you with rolling eyes or always looks annoyed when you talk or hang out, then ditch him! He obviously doesn’t enjoy your company and you don’t need a guy who doesn’t appreciate your awesomeness.
Do they have similar priorities?
- This doesn’t mean you both have everything in common. It means that you share the same goals when it comes to sharing a life together. Let’s say you love love love to travel and want to go to as many places as possible before settling down and creating a family (totes me). If the guy does not hold the same priorities and doesn’t care to travel because he just wants to save money, then you will end up resenting him. Granted, it is good to save money, but it isn’t good to stop enjoying life because of it. Do not give up on your dreams, just because of someone else. You may need to compromise and alter your dreams; however you should never just fully give it up.
- Also, you need to be aware if you are the priority in his life. If he is still hanging out with his friends at any chance he can until 4am- drinking and partying- while he could be with you and planning for the future, then his priority is not you. His priority is having fun. Depending on the seriousness of the relationship, this might be an aspect to consider.
- In a relationship, it is essential to be on the same page dealing with aspirations, marriage, family, and money. These become the main issues in life and you both need to have similar priorities and views in order to tackle them efficiently together.
P.S. I need to start taking my own advice!!!