Social Media does an impeccable job of making our lives look perfect. Although, we all know that isn’t an accurate representation of reality. Life is full of mistakes & embarrassing moments. Even though we may cringe when these moments are happening to us, they definitely keep life humorous and entertaining (no matter how much we want to die inside at the time).
You may ask why I am sharing a few of my most embarrassing moments, but my answer to that is– why wouldn’t I want to share some funny moments that have happened in my life! Doing this allows us to relate to each other and realize that not every one is perfect. All of these mini stories are unfortunately true, and an embarrassing reminder of how imperfect but perfectly hilarious life can be!
A Garlic Infused Romance- One weekend my friend was celebrating her 23rd birthday and threw an adorable dinner party at her house. It was fully stocked with a smorgasbord of wine, chicken, pita bread, cheese, salad, etc… Being single at the time, I knew that I could eat WHATEVER I wanted and not have to worry about if my breath smelt bad for kissing or if my enormous food baby was going to be a turnoff. My whole mindset was “I got no one to impress so I’m going to eat what ever I want”.
This happened to be a complete mistake by the end of the night.
So, I drank too much and, of course, made a phone call that I definitely would have never made sober. I did the classic cliché “I’m too drunk can you come pick me up” skit to a boy that I knew. Mind you, this isn’t even the embarrassing part yet. We obviously shared some drunken kisses and by the next morning I thought nothing of it…. that was until I got a text from him saying “Hey, I didn’t want to make you feel bad but, your breath smelt a little weird last night”. Honestly, I thought he was lying at first because I had definitely remembered brushing my teeth twice before seeing him. But then, I quickly remembered what I ate last night and immediately cringed.
Remember the whole “I got no one to impress” stupid thought I had… well, I had forgot that I had completely lathered all the bread that I ate that night ( and I ate a lot of bread that night) in yummy and delicious and completely smelly…. GARLIC! Yup, you can imagine how lovely I must’ve been to kiss that night with this reeking garlic smell! I obviously died a little on the inside and refuse to ever eat garlic now unless it’s around my family lol. It doesn’t help that anytime I talk to that guy he always reminds me of this encounter. There was one time I texted him saying “… I just want you to be happy”. He cleverly texted me back “If you wanted me to be happy, you wouldn’t of had that garlic that one night”. LOL talk about embarrassing!!
Plastic “Bitch” Slapped- Some people get bitch slapped, but then there is people like me who get plastic bitch slapped. I was at the beach one summer and with any typical summer day it was sunny and beautiful outside. I was laying on the beach watching my friend surf at Topanga Break. This one particular day however, there was an abnormal breeze that was a little more forceful then usual.
I must of been getting a little too full of myself at that moment because I was quickly brought back to reality by mother nature. As I was just casually laying on the sand and looking towards the left of the beach, I had made a quick right turn of my head to see the other coast line. That’s when it happened. I got attacked and bitch slapped by a damn plastic bag. THAT LITERALLY CAME OUT OF NO WHERE.
Naturally, I played it off as nothing had happened, but inside I was obviously dying. There were plenty of beach go-ers that had witnessed this smackdown. And I couldn’t bring myself to look at them the rest of the day.
Snitched on by Siri- Technology can be an amazing progressive step into the future, however it can also be the biggest snitch ever. There was one time I was in a fight with two of my former friends. I had group texted them about something they did that had upset me. It began a continuous rant of back and forth text messages.
After all of that had settle, of course, I needed some therapy (aka girl talk) and had one of my friends come over to be a listening ear. I’ll admit, when I’m on a rampage I usually have a much meaner tone and say things I wouldn’t have said if I wasn’t as heated. With that said, I was giving my friend commentary on the issue after I would read the text messages to her. Basically saying “Can you believe she said that or isn’t she being such a b*tch”.
Well, little did I know, in the midst of my verbal rampage, I had my thumb accidently pressing lightly on the voice recording!!! (I’m sure you know where this is going). By the time I had the chance to delete the voice recording, it had already sent to the group text message of the girls I was fighting with! Like honestly, when does shit like this actually happen!? (obviously, just to me).
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? The CDC- My family and I like to vacation every year. We usually switch it up by doing one land trip and then the next year go on a cruise. If you have ever been on a cruise then you know what to expect: formal nights, old people in bikinis, endless surrounding ocean, and tons of activities throughout the day. This particular story takes place on our most recent Hawaii Cruise Vacation. It was my sisters, parents, my sisters husband and my incredibly adorable (but rambicitous) nephew that went on the trip.
It was formal night, which meant we all had to get dressed up in our best attire and have dinner in one of their fancy decorated dining rooms. My nephew, Hudson, was 3 years old at the time, which I bet you can imagine how stressful and annoying that must’ve been to keep a 3 year old quiet– especially with all the surrounding old people judging our family and giving us glares if he got a little too rowdy. With that said, to keep him quiet, my family continued to give him these Shirley Temple drinks that he kept screaming about. As dinner progressed and Hudson was on his 3rd Shirley Temple of the night, we noticed he was acting a little strange. A little too quiet from his normal craziness. Then that’s when it happened… he lifted up his fork to twirl a piece pasta noodle in his mouth and then all of a sudden began throwing up his Shirley Temples on the plate in front of him.
I wish I could make this up but, sadly this is the truth. Just as all our faces were red with embarrassment and everyone at the table next to ours was staring at us, it got even more embarrassing. After getting notified of Hudson’s behavior the cruises CDC (center disease control) shortly arrived at our table. A little EXTREME don’t you think!? Lol. The reason for this is since the cruise is a confined space, they need to ensure that no one is sick so the disease does not run rampant to all the thousands of people on board. A necessary precaution on their part, but you can imagine how embarrassing it was to have this happen in the middle of formal dinner, with hundreds of people in the room, watching you as you get inspected. We definitely made an impression on that cruise.